Adoption in Britain has changed dramatically in the past few decades.

In the 1950s and 1960s, adoption was much more common: the number of adopted children peaked at 28,000 in 1968; last year there were just 3,300.  Adoption is now seen as a last resort and every effort is made to keep a baby with its birth mother.

In the 1950’s and 1960’s, social pressure on ‘un-married mothers’ was high. Young women who became pregnant were sent away to “mother-and-baby homes”,  where they would give birth before being pressured into handing their baby over to an adoption agency.  Most of these young mothers did not want to give their baby away, but felt they had no choice.

Today, those women are part of another dramatic social change, as legal reforms allow them to make contact with the children they handed over in such wretched circumstances. Pressure from campaigners - including many of the former ‘un-married  mothers’ - has led to adopted children and birth parents being given the right to be reunited, through approved intermediaries, if that is the wish of both parties.

The first significant legal change came in 1975, when adopted children were given the right to have copies of their birth certificates, so they could trace their parents. But it was not until December 2005, after nearly 30 years of campaigning, that birth parents won the right to make contact with children who had been adopted.

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During the holiday season it seems that everyone’s thoughts turn to home and family.

Having a family to call or visit during the holidays remains important for all of us, whether adults or children.

It is difficult to imagine the pain of so many young adults — almost 20,000 of them every year — who leave foster care without a family or a place to call home. It doesn’t matter whether we are 13 or 33, we need parents and family. The holiday months of November and December make this all the more apparent.

Most people do not know that you don’t have to be young, wealthy, married, or own a home to adopt.

One of the gifts older children offer is that you don’t have to change diapers, navigate a child’s car seat or be awakened every few hours during the night.

So when considering adoption, or fostering, don’t just think of babies and young children. Everybody needs a home and a family, and Christmas time just makes us more aware of that.

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The first set of heartache can come after years of trying to conceive, then getting a diagnosis of infertility. This may be followed by more years of heartbreaking fertility treatment.

Even after that, adoption is not a foregone conclusion. It is another huge decision and starts a new ball rolling in a different direction.  Many couples spend many months considering whether adoption felt right for them.

Its not a natural transition from infertility to adoption.

As well as the grieving for the newborne baby of your own that will never be, there are suddenly new decisions to be made.

Adoption from home or internationally?

Which adoption agency to choose?

One child, or two, or three?

What about special needs children? Which, if any, special needs would you be able to cope with?

After all those decisions have been made, the path to adoption is complicated and slow.

Its only when you are finally united with your adopted child that the years of heartache melt away.

For more information, visit www.baby-adoption.co.uk

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Statistics released this week showed a 13% fall in the number of children in care who are being adopted, despite a target to increase adoptions by 50%.

The decrease in the rate of adoption confirms fears that more children are missing out on life in a loving family home.

But why is there a decrease when there are more people than ever considering adoption?

Some point to the bureaucratic approach to adoption in the UK, particularly the Adoption and Children Act 2002.

Such a shame that red tape and form-filling has meant children who could gain so much from a secure and loving home environment are delayed or denied that chance.

For more information, visit www.baby-adoption.co.uk

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The Republic of Congo have suspended the international adoption of children to ensure the interests of such children are protected.

The move comes after the arrest in neighbouring Chad of members of French NGO who were subsequently charged with abducting 103 children destined for new families in Europe.

A study carried out in 2006 by the government, the justice and peace commission and the UN Children’s Fund revealed that there were about 2,000 child victims of cross-border trafficking in Congo during that year.

Many adoptive parents assume they are resueing a baby from poverty and institutional care; but the truth might be that the baby has beed abducted from its biological parents.

A study carried out in 2006 by the justice and peace commission and the UN Children’s Fund revealed that there were about 2,000 child victims of cross-border trafficking in Congo during that year.

international adoption

Does race matter when adopting?

A difficult question in our ‘politically correct’ world, where the slightest hint of difference can be blown out of propotion.

But surely, its the best interests of the child that are of paramount importance.

One would hope that the adoptive parents consider themselves to be ‘un prejudiced’ and often spend many hours considering the issues and education themselves on the possible problems of transracial adoption. 

A baby or toddler will have little or no concept of race or colour. But as the child gets older can a family from a different ethnic background provide for all the needs of that child?

Often parents who have adopted transracially, find that they may move neighbourhoods, change churchs or join different social groups to provide for the needs of their child.

So while its never a ‘No’ to transracial adoption, there are extra areas to be considerd.

For more information visit www.baby-adoption.co.uk

I received an email about a week ago from a mother who’s adopted child is now two and a half. She asked me if I knew any good books to read to her daughter to gently start introducing the idea of adoption.

At first nothing sprang to mind - I put this down to the state of my mind! and headed for a book shop.

But four book shops later and I still could not find anything suitable.

Any recommendations?

thanks

mrs b

Adoption is an exciting process. For you, the process took months, maybe years. However, to your child, it happened to them overnight. Suddenly you were there, taking him from the only environment he had ever known. There is little, if any, preparation for the child to adjust to a new life.

Your child is used to having caregivers…not a mother or father. You are simply a new caregiver initially. You will need to do things to prove you are different than the caregivers.

Initially, when you first get home with your child it is recommended to introduce family and friends slowly. It is tempting to have a big party but this can be very confusing and overwhelming to the child. They are still not completely attached to you and will randomly go to any adult that offers attention. Mom and Dad are not preferred yet.

It is recommended to keep family activities low key the first couple of weeks. Mom and Dad should be the only ones providing care during this time. The child needs to see who is in charge at home and who they can count on consistently.

* Try to not use a babysitter for the first few months so the child can bond to his mother more completely.

* Do not let your child ‘cry it out’. Sleep disruptions are common during this stage. After all, you have turned his entire world upside down and he will need to be comforted when upset.

* Help your child with things he can already do himself, like eating, or getting dressed so he learns you are the one in control and the one he will need if he wants these things.

* Play games that promote eye contact and in which your child must rely on you. Peek-a-boo, playing in a pool, hide and seek are all good games for this.

* Cradling the child like a baby, even if he is older, will offer him the experience of you holding him. This also forces eye contact again.

* Make a big deal of when they fall down and get hurt. You would never do this with your biological kids, but they already know to go to you when hurt or scared. Kids from institutions rarely get attention when hurt or scared and will rock or soothe themselves. They must be taught to trust you. It won’t take long for them to figure this out.

The bonding time is just a short period of time after the adoption is finalized. It may seem like eternity to you, but it is well worth the effort when your child calls you Mom or Dad and really means it.

For more information on adoption, visit www.baby-adoption.co.uk

Debbie Mumm is a parent of 3 biological and 2 adopted children. She is an Adoption Coach helping families before, during and after the adoption process. For FREE membership into her Forever Family Club, a group for adoptive parents to share parenting successes, go to http://www.everythingforadoption.com/forever-family-club.asp and register!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Debbie_Mumm

adoption

There have been stories in the news recently about adoptive parents being turned down for adoption because of their weight.

It seems to be that obesity is coming under the classification of ‘ill health’ as the reason for refusal.

This is a very worrying trend.

While nobody is pretending that obesity, particularly morbid obesity, is ‘healthy’ - how fat is too fat to adopt?

As far as I can find out, there are no specific guidelines laid out for when obesity becomes a reason to refuse the adoption. The decisions seem to be purely on the personal opinions of the judges in these cases.

If obesity is going to be a criteria for adoption, then new guidelines need to be drawn up by doctors, health professionals and the judiciary. The decisions cannot be left to the whim of a judge. 

The adoptive parents need to know the criteria from the beginning of the adoption process, not go through three years of red tape and heartache just to be turned down at the final hurdle.

Plus where does this trend on the ‘health’ front end? Will having a glass of wine when you go out for dinner come under the classification of ‘regular drinker/alcoholic’

What about smoking?

Where will judges individual decisions end?

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Adoption is a big step. A life changing decision.  And i full of ups and downs.

Some adoptive parents choose adoption after many years of trying for a baby of their own. Other adoptive parents may already have children but feel strongly about the suffering of children and selflessly offer a home and a family.

People without children, often feel like there is something missing in their lives, and can remedy this by adopting a child. The benefits of adoption, obviously do not only benefit the new parents. Adoption, gives a child who has no family of their own, the opportunity to grow up surrounded by loving family, and enjoy all the benefits and support that only family can provide.

Unfortunately the adoption process can be more expensive and complicated than expected. This unfortunately leads to a situation where some potentially fantastic parents cannot adopt children due the expense and difficulty involved.

The first step in adopting a child is one of self-analysis. In other words take some time to really think about what you are getting yourself into, adopting a child is a very serious business, and will impact on all aspects of your life for the rest of your life , and the life of the child you adopt.

If after a good solid dose of honest self-analysis you are still keen on the adoption idea, then the next step is to get in contact with a reputable licensed and preferably non-profit adoption agency.

When you receive your information from the agency, take your time and go through the information very carefully, because in the adoption process, you must follow the adoption agency’s guidelines to the letter.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to follow all the adoption agency’s instructions to the letter. Many prospective adoptive parents can get months down the path, only to find hat for some reason, they do not meet the agency’s criteria and have to start right back at the beginning again with another agency.

It can make the adoption process feel like playing snakes and ladders!

Something to keep in mind is that you should be prepared for the possibility of disappointment. Even though adoption agency’s try and make the process proceed as smooth as possible, due to the delicate nature of the process, sometimes problems can arise. And down the ladder you go.

In the case of private adoptions, the mother of the child can change her mind once the baby is born. Back to square one.

In the case of public adoptions, there often are not many babies or toddlers available for adoption, and some of the children who are available have come from broken homes, and in some cases have been exposed to violence and substance abuse, which could lead to them needing special attention.

But for all this, many people have negotiated the red tape and obstacles, and discovered the joy of parenthood and how being a parent can help you grow as a person.

In fact many of these special people go back and do it all again.

For more information, visit www.baby-adoption.co.uk

adoption